I forgot how it feels

With all the storms and tornadoes that's been happening, Trevor is terrified. He's scared of storms, as he should be.

Tonight at ball practice everyone was talking about the storms that are supposed to come in tonight. He and I made eye contact and I saw the fear and dread in his eyes. He didn't want to be at ball practice he wanted to be at home, his safe place. After the May floods, he hates it when it rains and watching the news doesn't help either. We were on are way home and he was very quiet. I starting talking to him about what was going on and he tells me that he is so scared of the storms. He started to cry. As I sat there listening to him, I thought to myself; this is me at nine years old crying and scared of storms. I forgot how it feels to be so scared you don't know what to do. That was me sitting in that passenger seat crying and asking  how bad the storms were going to be. I remember asking my mom to stay up until the storms passed. That was him asking that of me.

When I was Trevor's age we lived in a house with a basement and when tornadoes warnings came i gathered all of my favorite toys and slept in the basement. My granny used to tell me "When you see me get scared, that's when you get scared." That never happened; she remained calm through the worst storms. She was my rock., she made me feel safe. I want to be Trevor's rock through the rough storms. I want him to look to me and feel safe.

I promised Trevor that I would stay up until the storms passed and keep him safe throughout the night.
I want my boys to know that I am here to protect them and get them through the rough storms.
So tonight I'll be burning the midnight oil while my baby boys are fast asleep right in the middle of Mom and Dad.

Happy Birthday, Trevor Robert!!!

9 years old! Wow I can't believe it. Trevor will officially turn 9 at 5:35 pm this afternoon. I can't believe my baby is getting so big. He's is our calm one,our thoughtful one... our first born. Trevor is the type of kid that wears his feelings on his sleeve and would do anything in this world for his family or friends. I love that about him. He has given us joy this past nine years.

Dear Trevor,
Thank you for making me a mama. I love you more than you'll ever know. I love your smile,your laugh, your everything. I love you to all the stars and back and again.

Love, Your Mama

Happy Birthday Baby

Trevor

This afternoon as I watched Trevor and Trace, I realized what awesome eight year old I have. He's my best friend, he's my little man, he's my everything.

Trevor was a surprise for Troy and I. I went to the doctor Sept 19th 2001 with a "stomach bug" that I just couldn't get over. Well... it lasted for nine months. I had no clue at all that I was expecting. My granny took me to the doctor and she was just as surprised as I was. To be honest I wasn't happy or excited. I was scared and in shock. How did this happen??? Well I know how it happened, but you know what I mean. I called Troy as soon as we left the dr's office. I said "Troy, we're going to have a baby." You know what he said to me? Nothing, he hung up. I know I know, that wasn't very nice, but you have to understand we were young and had our whole lives ahead of us. I was in college and Troy was working a full time job. We had no responsibilities, we were just young and free. After the initial shock was over... WE WERE HAVING A BABY!!!

Fast forward to May 3rd 2002. My great granny Goldie McElyea passed on this day. I was to deliver any day, but I wanted to say my last good byes to her. Troy couldn't travel to Huntsville, AL that day. So my granny and mom, and mother-in-law went to Huntsville. My mother in law was determined that I was not going into labor without her there. I got through the funeral without any labor pains and I was relieved that I didn't have any problems while I was down there. The next day I had a dr's appt. and we decided that I needed to be induced on May 6th. I went to the hospital on the 5th to start the process. A whole day passed and still no baby. I was having major pain in my lower back, but no contractions. That night the doctor said that he was going to send me home and just wait and that's when the "daddy" came out in Troy. He refused to take me home. I was hurting so bad in my back, they then discovered that I was having back labor pains because the baby was faced down. The doctor broken my water and then it was just a waiting game.

A few hours later  I thought I had an accident and I could feel something. I called the nurse for more epidural. That stuff is awesome. When she came in to "check" me ..." Uh- the baby is crowned, it's time." OMG! I was so scared and excited all at the same time.

I'll spare the details, but just so you know... TROY, yes that's right, Troy delivered Trevor all the while the doctor videoed the whole birth. Yes, as weird as it seems.

So at 6:35pm on Tuesday May 7th 2002. Trevor Robert was born. Weighing 7lbs 7oz. My baby boy was finally here. That was one of the very best days of my life. Trace's birth was the other best day.

All the pain and struggle was so worth it. It didn't really hurt that bad and I would do it all over again.

Fast forward to the present- Trevor is such a humble, patient, considerate child. He has a heart of gold and it's as big as the world. He loves with his whole heart and cares about everyone around him. I am so proud of him and so blessed that he is mine all mine. He's there to make you laugh. He's so funny. I love him oh so much and i want the whole wide world to know what an awesome kid he is and just how much I love that little guy.

***To my sweet boy, Mom loves you to the stars and back.