Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I forgot how it feels

With all the storms and tornadoes that's been happening, Trevor is terrified. He's scared of storms, as he should be.

Tonight at ball practice everyone was talking about the storms that are supposed to come in tonight. He and I made eye contact and I saw the fear and dread in his eyes. He didn't want to be at ball practice he wanted to be at home, his safe place. After the May floods, he hates it when it rains and watching the news doesn't help either. We were on are way home and he was very quiet. I starting talking to him about what was going on and he tells me that he is so scared of the storms. He started to cry. As I sat there listening to him, I thought to myself; this is me at nine years old crying and scared of storms. I forgot how it feels to be so scared you don't know what to do. That was me sitting in that passenger seat crying and asking  how bad the storms were going to be. I remember asking my mom to stay up until the storms passed. That was him asking that of me.

When I was Trevor's age we lived in a house with a basement and when tornadoes warnings came i gathered all of my favorite toys and slept in the basement. My granny used to tell me "When you see me get scared, that's when you get scared." That never happened; she remained calm through the worst storms. She was my rock., she made me feel safe. I want to be Trevor's rock through the rough storms. I want him to look to me and feel safe.

I promised Trevor that I would stay up until the storms passed and keep him safe throughout the night.
I want my boys to know that I am here to protect them and get them through the rough storms.
So tonight I'll be burning the midnight oil while my baby boys are fast asleep right in the middle of Mom and Dad.

No comments:

Post a Comment